Jesus Wore Eye Black

Allow me to be the 7 billionth person to discuss Tim Tebow in a public forum.

First, he seems like a swell fella. Good for him. Good for the people he inspires. Good for the underprivileged folks he helps through his charity work. All great stuff that more people with wealth and opportunity should do.

Second, it's weird to hate a genuinely nice guy just because he's religious. I don't dislike Pat Robertson because he's religious. I dislike Pat Robertson because he is a bat-shit crazy. He just also happens to be religious. I also didn't care for Hitler, regardless of his religion affiliation. So, if you hate Tim Tebow only because he is a Christian, then you're a weirdo. 

Third, it's annoying that Christians root for Tim Tebow just because he's Christian. There are a lot of Christians in the NFL, so why focus on Tebow? Andy Dalton also worships Jesus, so why aren't evangelicals buying Dalton jerseys? Tebow is clearly more vocal about his faith, but that doesn't make him a better Christian or more deserving of our adoration. In fact, Tebow seems to be cashing in quite a bit on his fame. He couldn't possibly have an ulterior motive, could he? Maybe. Maybe not. As a lifelong sports fan, I'd prefer Christians stay out of the sports dialogue if they don't like sports.

Fourth, here's why I want religious folks who don't like sports to go away: God is not rooting for Tim Tebow. At least, no more than God roots for any football player. And, for the love of all that is holy, can everyone agree Jesus isn't altering professional football games because he's got a crush on Tim Tebow? Tebow threw for 316 yards against Pittsburgh because sometimes quarterbacks throw for 316 yards, not because of John 3:16. What message was God trying to communicate the week Tebow threw for 69 yards against Kansas City? (Naughty Yahweh!)

If God helped Denver beat the Steelers, why didn't he help the Broncos beat the Patriots? Is Tom Brady more powerful than God? (Seriously, is he?) Did God take the day off? Was God fed up with Tebowmania? Look, God doesn't determine the outcome of sporting events, so please stop saying he does. It makes you sound bat-shit crazy too. God has bigger things to worry about, like war, famine, disease, and the Golden Globes. 

Fifth, everyone needs to freaking relax. Alex Smith was awful his first few years in the NFL, and now his 49ers are one game away from the Super Bowl. My first three or four years in the classroom were a rollercoaster ride, but now I'm a pretty good teacher. Unless you're a freak of nature, greatness takes time. Tebow just finished his second full season in professional football, and he lost an entire off-season because of the labor dispute. Maybe he'll be good; maybe he won't, but why do we have to decide at this moment? That doesn't happen with anyone else in football, so why put unrealistic expectations on Tebow?

I really hope Tebow doesn't decide to play professional baseball because I desperately need a few months off from Tebowmania. I'm just glad all baseball players worship Satan.